Understanding Sexuality

Sex can be pretty confusing. You may have been told that sex is a sacred act between two married people who love each other very much. But then you turn on your TV and you see quite a different story - people having casual or meaningless sex, using it to get revenge or to control people, or using it to advertise everything from soft drinks to vacuum cleaners.

The point is, there's a lot of bad information floating around about sex. And while you may have already had "The Sex Talk" with your parents, you may still have a few questions. Your parents, your teachers or your doctor would likely be happy to answer your questions, but let's face it, some of this stuff can be pretty embarrassing:

Wet Dreams

Sexy dreams can cause a guy to have an erection and ejaculate, or cum, during his sleep. When he wakes up, he's wet and sticky. This is a wet dream. The same occurs in girls, but the amount of moisture they produce is much less, and therefore it's not as noticeable. Wet dreams are pretty common at your age, but they don't happen to everybody, so don't worry if it doesn't happen to you.

Fantasies

Fantasies are a safe way to explore your sexual desires. They're not weird, everybody has them and they don't make you a "pervert", so don't feel guilty about having them. Fantasies help you learn more about yourself and your romantic feelings, without having to act on them. They help you figure out what turns you on and what you're comfortable with. You can learn a lot from fantasies - what you want to do and what you don't - but a lot of fantasies will just stay as fantasies. It's normal for people to fantasize about things that they wouldn't be comfortable doing in real life. Or your fantasies can set the stage for real-life situations, and prepare you to act in a way that is true to yourself. They allow you to imagine having sex...without any of the real-life consequences.

In some cases, your fantasies may become too big a part of your day.and you may spend more time in your head than on earth. Or, your fantasies become so life-like that you find it hard to hold back from trying them out in real life. In these situations, it may help to talk to someone you trust to help sort out your feelings.

The Bottom Line

Do what you need to do to answer your questions. Read books, fantasize, and ask a trusted friend lots of questions. Or if you're comfortable, you can talk to your doctor, a school nurse, or a pharmacists - remember, unless you are in danger or have broken the law, whatever you talk about with your health care provider is confidential. Just remember that getting answers to your questions will help you grow as a healthy, mature sexual being.

You might find it embarrassing to ask questions about sex, but just think: If and when you decide to have sex, don't you want to be sure that you've done your homework? If you think it's embarrassing to ask questions now, just think how embarrassing it would be later!

Contraception

Someday, you may want to have a baby. It may be when you're 18, 28, or even 38. Or you may never want to have a child. Any parent will tell you that a baby will bring unimaginable joy to your life (and, of course, sleepless nights, screaming and dirty diapers) but pregnancy should happen when you are ready. For now, it's a good idea to use contraception to avoid an unplanned pregnancy, until you're sure you want and are ready to have a baby.

Sex is such an amazing experience, so the last thing you want in the back of your head is, "oh God, what will I do if we get pregnant." That's right - we. Contraception is a shared responsibility of both partners. And remember, it only takes one "oops" to get pregnant.

So, make sure you find a contraception method that works best for you and your partner.

There's a lot more to contraception than just condoms and the Pill. For a lot of couples, these two are the obvious choice; they're effective, safe and pretty easy to use. But these days, there are literally dozens of options to choose from. There's even some exciting and highly effective new methods like the Patch or the vaginal ring.

Once you've found which contraception you and your partner like best, make sure to use it on a regular basis...and don't forget to use condoms to protect you from sexually transmitted infections.

The best way to protect yourself from pregnancy and from sexually transmitted infections (that you or your partner may not know you have) is to use a dual method of protection. that means using a male or female condom (yes, there are female condoms) along with another method of contraception.