Understanding Her Sexual Body Language

When you're in bed with a woman, do you ever get the feeling that she's uncomfortable or that something is amiss? Are you able to read your girl's body language?

Well, you might be right -- there might be something she is telling you. Check out these body language movements and reactions that likely mean that something is up with your girl. If you are able to confront these issues, you may be able to eliminate the sexual party pooper that is dwelling in your girl.

She won't look at you

If she lets you get inside her but won't even look up at you, something is definitely up. And not in a good way. If every time you lean in to kiss her, she turns her face and doesn't open her eyes, there is definitely a problem.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she's shy and isn't very experienced in bed. If she won't let your mouth get anywhere near hers, you might have bad breath, she might have bad breath, your facial hair might be scraping her face or, if you went down on her, she might find it "distasteful" to kiss afterwards.

Fix it: The next time you're having sex, pull out and make your way to her face; in a soap opera-romance way, gently hold her head in your hands and kiss her like Casanova. If you feel like she wants to pull away, let her and ask her what the deal is. The only way to figure out why she's reacting that way is by asking.

Her expressions are stoic

If you're giving the session your all and she's staring into space or focusing all her attention on the ceiling, something has got to give.

Possible reasons: It's possible that she doesn't like sex much. As well, she might want to be engaging in some other sex act and is afraid to tell you about it. Maybe she feels like a caged animal and wants to be on top or maybe you're not giving her enough room to maneuver.

Fix it: Put her on top and tell her you want to watch her move. Or, when you're not having sex, ask her about her sexual fantasies; maybe that'll help you get to the bottom of her body language behavior.

Bumpy Problem

Ques: I've had a strange growth on the underside of the shaft of my penis for more than a year. It’s like a little bump under the skin that you can slide the skin around, but it won’t move from its actual place. I’m not sexually active, so I’m wondering if this could have something to do with a vein or a bump in the shaft? How do I get rid of it?

Ans: While I can’t say for sure, it sounds like you have a sebaceous cyst on your shaft. Now, don’t panic. The name may sound unpleasant and fatal, but I assure that if you do indeed have a sebaceous cyst on your penis, you have nothing to worry about. This is a sac containing a pasty-like secretion under the skin. It is usually painless, but it can occasionally become inflamed. It also has a tendency to leave a bruised-like appearance on the surface of the skin directly covering it. Usually, one of these cysts can just be ignored, but since it happens to be on you penis, I can imagine that it makes you feel very self-conscious. Talk to your physician for an accurate diagnosis and to discuss possible methods of removal.

Ques: I have read some background information on adult circumcision and I believe that it would be right for me. I live in a town of about 175,000 people in Texas so my options are pretty limited. My question is: Who should I call to ask about getting this procedure done? How much can I expect to pay for this procedure?

Ans: It’s not uncommon for men to opt for the circumcision route later on in life. And being from a small town doesn’t mean you can’t have a circumcision. If you’d like to get more informed on the procedure, simply visit your family physician and he’ll refer you to a urologist you can visit. As for cost, be prepared to dish out about $100 to $200 USD for this routine procedure.

What is romance?

Basically what is seen as romantic is something that strays from the ordinary, something that is spontaneous and creative, yet what one person sees as romantic may be seen as ridiculous by another. Romance really is a matter of personal taste, and the more geared to the object of your affection the gesture is, the more likely you will hit the right side of the line. There are no hard and fast rules for getting it right, however considering the following will at least steer you in the right direction:

• Consider how long you have been together if it is the early throes of a relationship a big gesture may scare the hell out of them, and it is far easier to go wrong when you don't know your lover that well. Go for something fun or something simple. A pound shop gift, a picnic or a date go-carting.
• When thinking of gifts try and cater to your partner as an individual rather than jumping on the bandwagon of what is supposedly romantic. Traditional red roses are boring, be a little more creative, find out what they like, a single stem of their favourite flower is much more likely to win them over. Homemade things are also bound to be higher on the romance scale than shop bought. Put a little thought in.
• The same goes for dates and weekends away - plan surprises you know they will love, think of more creative things to do than the usual dinner and a movie.

Just to help you out a little more here is our cheese scale for all things romantic:

Mild cheddar

• Red roses: traditional yet dull. Some people don't even like roses. Pick flowers that suit them rather than going for run of the mill, it shows more thought.
• Filling car with balloons: sweet, although it may just embarrass the hell out of them, and isn't much good if they ride a bike.
• Making photo album charting your relationship: OK if filled monthly rather than minute-by-minute.
• Writing I love you on the bathroom mirror.
• Making a card for no reason at all.

Camembert

• Serenading: romantic if drunk, cheesy if sober.
• Dedicating a song to them on the radio/ VH1 /MTV (although if it's Bryan Adams or Puppy Love then this hits the pure cheese factor).

Stinking Gorgonzola

• Teddy bears with 'I love you' hearts: think about the recipient, can you really imagine them liking this? If they do, do you really want to be with them?
• Love letters, scented with lipstick kisses - no, no, no, no, no.
• Poems: If you must attempt to be the next Laureate, keep them short and sweet as pages and pages may just end up in the bin.
• Chat up lines - not big, not clever, and not romantic.
• Underwear: I think you're confusing lust with love.

Self confidence

Most of the time, we avoid making the first move because a nasty little negative thought pops into our mind at exactly the wrong moment. Here are some of the most common:

• They will never fancy me
  Attractiveness is very much in the eye of the beholder. If you never approach that person you fancy, how are they going to get the chance to decide? So long as you are clean and wearing stuff that you're comfortable with, what's the problem? There's a lot more going on here than physical appearances, and a good personality shines through. So what if you're brunette and they only like blondes? It just means that person is shallow, not that you're unattractive.
• They might say no, or have a boyfriend/girlfriend already!
  True, you might not be their ideal partner, and they have a right to say no. But they could also say yes, and surely that's worth taking the risk? Rejection is part of the dating scene, and it isn't the end of the world - you just move on and meet someone else. As for them already having a partner, there's no way you can tell in advance, so ask anyway.
• I might make a fool of myself!
  You'll have more luck if you're pleasant and friendly, rather than flash or cheesy. Even if you end up feeling embarrassed, chances are that nobody else will even notice. If they say 'no thanks' nicely, then deal with it graciously and don't start insulting them, it'll only make you look immature and insecure. If the other person deliberately tries to embarrass you, they've actually done you a favour by letting you know that they have an attitude problem.

Understanding Sexuality

Sex can be pretty confusing. You may have been told that sex is a sacred act between two married people who love each other very much. But then you turn on your TV and you see quite a different story - people having casual or meaningless sex, using it to get revenge or to control people, or using it to advertise everything from soft drinks to vacuum cleaners.

The point is, there's a lot of bad information floating around about sex. And while you may have already had "The Sex Talk" with your parents, you may still have a few questions. Your parents, your teachers or your doctor would likely be happy to answer your questions, but let's face it, some of this stuff can be pretty embarrassing:

Wet Dreams

Sexy dreams can cause a guy to have an erection and ejaculate, or cum, during his sleep. When he wakes up, he's wet and sticky. This is a wet dream. The same occurs in girls, but the amount of moisture they produce is much less, and therefore it's not as noticeable. Wet dreams are pretty common at your age, but they don't happen to everybody, so don't worry if it doesn't happen to you.

Fantasies

Fantasies are a safe way to explore your sexual desires. They're not weird, everybody has them and they don't make you a "pervert", so don't feel guilty about having them. Fantasies help you learn more about yourself and your romantic feelings, without having to act on them. They help you figure out what turns you on and what you're comfortable with. You can learn a lot from fantasies - what you want to do and what you don't - but a lot of fantasies will just stay as fantasies. It's normal for people to fantasize about things that they wouldn't be comfortable doing in real life. Or your fantasies can set the stage for real-life situations, and prepare you to act in a way that is true to yourself. They allow you to imagine having sex...without any of the real-life consequences.

In some cases, your fantasies may become too big a part of your day.and you may spend more time in your head than on earth. Or, your fantasies become so life-like that you find it hard to hold back from trying them out in real life. In these situations, it may help to talk to someone you trust to help sort out your feelings.

The Bottom Line

Do what you need to do to answer your questions. Read books, fantasize, and ask a trusted friend lots of questions. Or if you're comfortable, you can talk to your doctor, a school nurse, or a pharmacists - remember, unless you are in danger or have broken the law, whatever you talk about with your health care provider is confidential. Just remember that getting answers to your questions will help you grow as a healthy, mature sexual being.

You might find it embarrassing to ask questions about sex, but just think: If and when you decide to have sex, don't you want to be sure that you've done your homework? If you think it's embarrassing to ask questions now, just think how embarrassing it would be later!