Bumpy Problem

Ques: I've had a strange growth on the underside of the shaft of my penis for more than a year. It’s like a little bump under the skin that you can slide the skin around, but it won’t move from its actual place. I’m not sexually active, so I’m wondering if this could have something to do with a vein or a bump in the shaft? How do I get rid of it?

Ans: While I can’t say for sure, it sounds like you have a sebaceous cyst on your shaft. Now, don’t panic. The name may sound unpleasant and fatal, but I assure that if you do indeed have a sebaceous cyst on your penis, you have nothing to worry about. This is a sac containing a pasty-like secretion under the skin. It is usually painless, but it can occasionally become inflamed. It also has a tendency to leave a bruised-like appearance on the surface of the skin directly covering it. Usually, one of these cysts can just be ignored, but since it happens to be on you penis, I can imagine that it makes you feel very self-conscious. Talk to your physician for an accurate diagnosis and to discuss possible methods of removal.

Ques: I have read some background information on adult circumcision and I believe that it would be right for me. I live in a town of about 175,000 people in Texas so my options are pretty limited. My question is: Who should I call to ask about getting this procedure done? How much can I expect to pay for this procedure?

Ans: It’s not uncommon for men to opt for the circumcision route later on in life. And being from a small town doesn’t mean you can’t have a circumcision. If you’d like to get more informed on the procedure, simply visit your family physician and he’ll refer you to a urologist you can visit. As for cost, be prepared to dish out about $100 to $200 USD for this routine procedure.

Self confidence

Most of the time, we avoid making the first move because a nasty little negative thought pops into our mind at exactly the wrong moment. Here are some of the most common:

• They will never fancy me
  Attractiveness is very much in the eye of the beholder. If you never approach that person you fancy, how are they going to get the chance to decide? So long as you are clean and wearing stuff that you're comfortable with, what's the problem? There's a lot more going on here than physical appearances, and a good personality shines through. So what if you're brunette and they only like blondes? It just means that person is shallow, not that you're unattractive.
• They might say no, or have a boyfriend/girlfriend already!
  True, you might not be their ideal partner, and they have a right to say no. But they could also say yes, and surely that's worth taking the risk? Rejection is part of the dating scene, and it isn't the end of the world - you just move on and meet someone else. As for them already having a partner, there's no way you can tell in advance, so ask anyway.
• I might make a fool of myself!
  You'll have more luck if you're pleasant and friendly, rather than flash or cheesy. Even if you end up feeling embarrassed, chances are that nobody else will even notice. If they say 'no thanks' nicely, then deal with it graciously and don't start insulting them, it'll only make you look immature and insecure. If the other person deliberately tries to embarrass you, they've actually done you a favour by letting you know that they have an attitude problem.

What is sexual orientation?

Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to another person. It is easily distinguished from other components of sexuality including biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female) and the social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behaviour).

Sexual orientation exists along a continuum that ranges from exclusive homosexuality to exclusive heterosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience physical, sexual and emotional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. Persons with a homosexual orientation are sometimes referred to as gay (both men and women) or as lesbian (women only).

Sexual orientation is different from sexual behaviour because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Persons may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviours.

What causes a person to have a particular sexual orientation?

It is generally agreed that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person's sexuality. It is important to recognise that there are probably many reasons for a person's sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people.

Do I have a choice over my sexual orientation?

No, human beings can not choose to be either gay or straight. Sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.

How do I know if I'm gay?

Many people will be attracted to someone of the same gender at some time in their lives. Some people might act on this; some people don't even admit it.