What is romance?

Basically what is seen as romantic is something that strays from the ordinary, something that is spontaneous and creative, yet what one person sees as romantic may be seen as ridiculous by another. Romance really is a matter of personal taste, and the more geared to the object of your affection the gesture is, the more likely you will hit the right side of the line. There are no hard and fast rules for getting it right, however considering the following will at least steer you in the right direction:

• Consider how long you have been together if it is the early throes of a relationship a big gesture may scare the hell out of them, and it is far easier to go wrong when you don't know your lover that well. Go for something fun or something simple. A pound shop gift, a picnic or a date go-carting.
• When thinking of gifts try and cater to your partner as an individual rather than jumping on the bandwagon of what is supposedly romantic. Traditional red roses are boring, be a little more creative, find out what they like, a single stem of their favourite flower is much more likely to win them over. Homemade things are also bound to be higher on the romance scale than shop bought. Put a little thought in.
• The same goes for dates and weekends away - plan surprises you know they will love, think of more creative things to do than the usual dinner and a movie.

Just to help you out a little more here is our cheese scale for all things romantic:

Mild cheddar

• Red roses: traditional yet dull. Some people don't even like roses. Pick flowers that suit them rather than going for run of the mill, it shows more thought.
• Filling car with balloons: sweet, although it may just embarrass the hell out of them, and isn't much good if they ride a bike.
• Making photo album charting your relationship: OK if filled monthly rather than minute-by-minute.
• Writing I love you on the bathroom mirror.
• Making a card for no reason at all.

Camembert

• Serenading: romantic if drunk, cheesy if sober.
• Dedicating a song to them on the radio/ VH1 /MTV (although if it's Bryan Adams or Puppy Love then this hits the pure cheese factor).

Stinking Gorgonzola

• Teddy bears with 'I love you' hearts: think about the recipient, can you really imagine them liking this? If they do, do you really want to be with them?
• Love letters, scented with lipstick kisses - no, no, no, no, no.
• Poems: If you must attempt to be the next Laureate, keep them short and sweet as pages and pages may just end up in the bin.
• Chat up lines - not big, not clever, and not romantic.
• Underwear: I think you're confusing lust with love.

Self confidence

Most of the time, we avoid making the first move because a nasty little negative thought pops into our mind at exactly the wrong moment. Here are some of the most common:

• They will never fancy me
  Attractiveness is very much in the eye of the beholder. If you never approach that person you fancy, how are they going to get the chance to decide? So long as you are clean and wearing stuff that you're comfortable with, what's the problem? There's a lot more going on here than physical appearances, and a good personality shines through. So what if you're brunette and they only like blondes? It just means that person is shallow, not that you're unattractive.
• They might say no, or have a boyfriend/girlfriend already!
  True, you might not be their ideal partner, and they have a right to say no. But they could also say yes, and surely that's worth taking the risk? Rejection is part of the dating scene, and it isn't the end of the world - you just move on and meet someone else. As for them already having a partner, there's no way you can tell in advance, so ask anyway.
• I might make a fool of myself!
  You'll have more luck if you're pleasant and friendly, rather than flash or cheesy. Even if you end up feeling embarrassed, chances are that nobody else will even notice. If they say 'no thanks' nicely, then deal with it graciously and don't start insulting them, it'll only make you look immature and insecure. If the other person deliberately tries to embarrass you, they've actually done you a favour by letting you know that they have an attitude problem.

Sexual and Gender Orientation

Your sexual orientation is a reflection of your sexual and emotional feelings toward people of the same or opposite gender. Although some people know early on that they are homosexual, others go through a confusing period where they wonder: Am I different? Could I be gay? Are my feelings just a passing phase?

The answer is there is no single answer. Your sexual orientation will emerge over time, probably little by little. You shouldn't label yourself as gay just because you've had homosexual feelings or even homosexual encounters. These experiences are very common among people your age. Or, you may realize over time that you're only attracted to people of your own gender. Or maybe you'll find that you're into both guys and girls - that you're bisexual.

Right now the best thing you can do is give it time and explore and experience your sexual feelings with an open mind. If it turns out you're gay, you'll probably face some unique challenges but you'll also get a lot of support along the way. The world's come a long way. It's still not perfect, but these days most people know that it's okay to be gay, and homosexuals have more social freedoms and legal protections than ever before.

You may have wondered what causes homosexuality. Why are some people gay and some people aren't? Truth is, nobody really knows for sure. Researchers used to believe that homosexuality stemmed from improper parenting (some people still believe this), but this just isn't the case. As best we know, what "causes" homosexuality is the same as what causes heterosexuality: the roll of the biological dice.

Today, sex researchers and doctors view homosexuality not as a sexual problem but as a normal sexual difference, much like green is a normal - if fairly unusual - eye colour.

What all this means is that homosexuals are no more responsible for their homosexuality than heterosexuals are for their heterosexuality. It is not a "lifestyle" you choose for yourself as much as something you discover in yourself. Which is not to say it's an easy discovery. Even if you know that homosexuality isn't a disorder or a flaw, you may fear that your family and friends won't accept you if you come out to them.