Bumpy Problem

Ques: I've had a strange growth on the underside of the shaft of my penis for more than a year. It’s like a little bump under the skin that you can slide the skin around, but it won’t move from its actual place. I’m not sexually active, so I’m wondering if this could have something to do with a vein or a bump in the shaft? How do I get rid of it?

Ans: While I can’t say for sure, it sounds like you have a sebaceous cyst on your shaft. Now, don’t panic. The name may sound unpleasant and fatal, but I assure that if you do indeed have a sebaceous cyst on your penis, you have nothing to worry about. This is a sac containing a pasty-like secretion under the skin. It is usually painless, but it can occasionally become inflamed. It also has a tendency to leave a bruised-like appearance on the surface of the skin directly covering it. Usually, one of these cysts can just be ignored, but since it happens to be on you penis, I can imagine that it makes you feel very self-conscious. Talk to your physician for an accurate diagnosis and to discuss possible methods of removal.

Ques: I have read some background information on adult circumcision and I believe that it would be right for me. I live in a town of about 175,000 people in Texas so my options are pretty limited. My question is: Who should I call to ask about getting this procedure done? How much can I expect to pay for this procedure?

Ans: It’s not uncommon for men to opt for the circumcision route later on in life. And being from a small town doesn’t mean you can’t have a circumcision. If you’d like to get more informed on the procedure, simply visit your family physician and he’ll refer you to a urologist you can visit. As for cost, be prepared to dish out about $100 to $200 USD for this routine procedure.

What is romance?

Basically what is seen as romantic is something that strays from the ordinary, something that is spontaneous and creative, yet what one person sees as romantic may be seen as ridiculous by another. Romance really is a matter of personal taste, and the more geared to the object of your affection the gesture is, the more likely you will hit the right side of the line. There are no hard and fast rules for getting it right, however considering the following will at least steer you in the right direction:

• Consider how long you have been together if it is the early throes of a relationship a big gesture may scare the hell out of them, and it is far easier to go wrong when you don't know your lover that well. Go for something fun or something simple. A pound shop gift, a picnic or a date go-carting.
• When thinking of gifts try and cater to your partner as an individual rather than jumping on the bandwagon of what is supposedly romantic. Traditional red roses are boring, be a little more creative, find out what they like, a single stem of their favourite flower is much more likely to win them over. Homemade things are also bound to be higher on the romance scale than shop bought. Put a little thought in.
• The same goes for dates and weekends away - plan surprises you know they will love, think of more creative things to do than the usual dinner and a movie.

Just to help you out a little more here is our cheese scale for all things romantic:

Mild cheddar

• Red roses: traditional yet dull. Some people don't even like roses. Pick flowers that suit them rather than going for run of the mill, it shows more thought.
• Filling car with balloons: sweet, although it may just embarrass the hell out of them, and isn't much good if they ride a bike.
• Making photo album charting your relationship: OK if filled monthly rather than minute-by-minute.
• Writing I love you on the bathroom mirror.
• Making a card for no reason at all.

Camembert

• Serenading: romantic if drunk, cheesy if sober.
• Dedicating a song to them on the radio/ VH1 /MTV (although if it's Bryan Adams or Puppy Love then this hits the pure cheese factor).

Stinking Gorgonzola

• Teddy bears with 'I love you' hearts: think about the recipient, can you really imagine them liking this? If they do, do you really want to be with them?
• Love letters, scented with lipstick kisses - no, no, no, no, no.
• Poems: If you must attempt to be the next Laureate, keep them short and sweet as pages and pages may just end up in the bin.
• Chat up lines - not big, not clever, and not romantic.
• Underwear: I think you're confusing lust with love.

What is sexual orientation?

Sexual orientation is an enduring emotional, romantic or sexual attraction to another person. It is easily distinguished from other components of sexuality including biological sex, gender identity (the psychological sense of being male or female) and the social gender role (adherence to cultural norms for feminine and masculine behaviour).

Sexual orientation exists along a continuum that ranges from exclusive homosexuality to exclusive heterosexuality and includes various forms of bisexuality. Bisexual persons can experience physical, sexual and emotional attraction to both their own sex and the opposite sex. Persons with a homosexual orientation are sometimes referred to as gay (both men and women) or as lesbian (women only).

Sexual orientation is different from sexual behaviour because it refers to feelings and self-concept. Persons may or may not express their sexual orientation in their behaviours.

What causes a person to have a particular sexual orientation?

It is generally agreed that sexual orientation is most likely the result of a complex interaction of environmental, cognitive and biological factors. In most people, sexual orientation is shaped at an early age. There is also considerable recent evidence to suggest that biology, including genetic or inborn hormonal factors, play a significant role in a person's sexuality. It is important to recognise that there are probably many reasons for a person's sexual orientation and the reasons may be different for different people.

Do I have a choice over my sexual orientation?

No, human beings can not choose to be either gay or straight. Sexual orientation emerges for most people in early adolescence without any prior sexual experience. Although we can choose whether to act on our feelings, psychologists do not consider sexual orientation to be a conscious choice that can be voluntarily changed.

How do I know if I'm gay?

Many people will be attracted to someone of the same gender at some time in their lives. Some people might act on this; some people don't even admit it.

Sexually Transmitted Infections

You've probably heard all of this before... the safe sex talk, or why you should always use condoms, birth control pills and the rest. And let's face it, talking about diseases and infections isn't exactly the most pleasant topic - it's not like you're going to just strike up a conversation on the bus about genital warts! But if one thing is true of sexually transmitted infections, it's this: It's a lot more pleasant (and a lot less embarassing) to talk about them than it is to actually get one.

The big thing you need to know is that the easiest way to get a sexually transmitted infections is by having unprotected sex, and using a condom is the most effective way to prevent them.

But in order to fully understand these "bugs" and how to protect yourself, the first step is to learn about the different types of STIs, what causes them, how to spot them, and what to do if you catch one.